Am I a good friend? I try, but most people don't set out to be bad friends. I just feel like...I don't know, if I were a good friend, my friends wouldn't make me feel bad about myself. They'd avoid hurting my feelings, cuz I try to avoid hurting theirs.
I keep thinking things are going to reset at the end of this year, and I'll get another blank slate. I guess it's carry-over from senior year, but I need to start thinking about consequences. I wish I could start over. I was thinking about transferring today. Not just to Vassar, just not Geneseo. It's too much like City Honors. I'm jealous of people that aren't in school. I half wish I could just leave. Just like, vanish, and never see these people again. I hate it when people use their blogs to bitch about their friends and how life is so hard and it isn't fair, and yet here I am. I know I should just pull up my socks and concentrate on finishing the semester, and then I can work things out from there. I'll be home, and away from school people, and things will look better. Right now though it's hard to imagine things not sucking. I just want to go away.