Sometimes it's better to not be excited for things, because it's so easy for fantasy to put reality to shame. I thought Alumni Weekend would be way more fun than it really was. It wasn't bad, I had fun, but when when I was picturing what it would be like, I didn't consider things like bruised noses, or stomachaches or rain. Lots of people had a really great time, I had an ok time. The game was good, and I liked watching the boys' game, (it was great seeing Colin in action), but it wasn't anything to write home about really. I'm only posting about it because I was so vocal about my excitement. At the very least it was interesting. I was in the mood to let things happen, and so I was friendly and social, and I ended up at Denny's with Lord Licorice at three AM. It's interesting when things that should be uncomfortable aren't. It was awkward, but I feel like anyone could be friends with anyone else if they tried, and Licorice is a nice guy. It's sad, but I'm more comfortable with guys that I'm not attracted to, and so I'm more relaxed and likable. I'm a little young to give up just yet, but maybe the solution is to find someone I can be myself around, and then twenty-five years later realize that I've grown to love them. CWB told me the other day that she's pretty sure she'll be unhappy in life, and that if she gets married she'll probably get divorced. At the time I was appalled, and it's still depressing, but maybe it's just realistic. But then what's the point in having hope, or trying at anything?
If nothing else, Alumni Weekend made me realize that 1. boys are disgusting, and 2. even if I still like them, I do not want to date a rugger. I'd be better served getting a dog.
Mum is coming to visit and I'm excited.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Friday, April 25, 2008
Breakfast
I don't like eating breakfast with people. On the weekends the dining halls don't open until 11, and I have time to wake up and get my head straight before I go, so I can be sociable at brunch. Weekdays however, are a totally different matter. I'm thinking about getting to class, and I don't want to be bothered. It isn't usually a problem, but today Logic Boy straight accosted me at breakfast and ruined my bagel eating experience. I'm getting sick of the awkwardness, and I do not have the emotional energy required to hold another loser guy's hand while he works through his issues,despite the fact that no one understands him the way I do. If these people hold it for like ten years, they can come and pay me, and I'll listen to every complaint they throw at me. Right now though, I'm 19, and I can't take on other people's problems. Finals are coming up, and my personal life is stressing me out enough as it is. I do not need some random guy telling me I'm beautiful, and acting like he is my boyfriend, flipping out when I let a day go by before responding to his facebook messages. Messages. As in more than one. He doesn't get to be that needy. Before I was shallow, but now his personality turns me off too. I can't get lunch at the Union, or breakfast at MJ because he knows my schedule and doesn't seem to understand that an iPod or newspaper are the equivalents of Do Not Disturb signs. He's messing up my routine, and I don't have that much wiggle room! I'm already unable to go to the library cafe for breakfast Tuesdays or Thursdays, or lunch Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays cuz that's when Goose is there. When and where am I supposed to eat?? I hate boys! The only solution is to live in my room, emerging only to go to class. I can't even go to the gym without seeing someone I'd rather not. Why are college guys so regimented? Shouldn't they be wild and unpredictable?
This year cannot end soon enough.
This year cannot end soon enough.
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Upstates and Updates
We had our last rugby tournament of the year yesterday. We still have Alumni, but practice is over, and yesterday felt pretty final. I even put my ring and necklace back on today, for the first time in like a month. We'll have a fun practice sometime this week, and then Alumni, and then the senior banquet, but the season is pretty much over. Our seniors are graduating, Sully isn't even coming to Alumni, and then they'll be gone. I didn't get to know them well enough. We spent the night at Leigh's house on Friday, and I got to see her bedroom. You wouldn't think that she would have American Girl dolls, or a really big, nice doll house, or a lot of the same cds that I have, but she does. It's weird to think about.
The tournament was really fun. It was roasting hot, and we got slaughtered our first game because we were all mentally still in the car. We started getting it together for the second game, but we lost when the other team rallied during the second half. We were only guaranteed two games, so we left around one, which was somewhat frustrating. I got to play all of both games though, and once I got warmed up I felt happy with the way I played.
The boys' tournament is today, and almost all of them went. They had enough people to field two full sides with subs, so a lot of people get to play. The campus feels sort of depopulated with them gone, but I suspect that's just me.
They had an outdoor showing of "The Kite Runner" last night. It was good, but the subtitles were hard to read because they were the same color as the background most of the time. The book was better, but I enjoyed myself. Outdoor movies are nice, it felt very summer-y.
I can't wait for this upcoming weekend. This week in general should be pretty fun. Tuesday is GREAT day, so we don't have any classes. I'm going to stay up late on Monday and watch the meteor shower, then we're all going on a picnic on Tuesday. We'll have our fun practice, and then it will be Alumni, with whatever craziness that entails. I'm relieved I'm not drinking, it'll minimize the possibilities for badness. I don't want drama, I just want it to be fun.
The tournament was really fun. It was roasting hot, and we got slaughtered our first game because we were all mentally still in the car. We started getting it together for the second game, but we lost when the other team rallied during the second half. We were only guaranteed two games, so we left around one, which was somewhat frustrating. I got to play all of both games though, and once I got warmed up I felt happy with the way I played.
The boys' tournament is today, and almost all of them went. They had enough people to field two full sides with subs, so a lot of people get to play. The campus feels sort of depopulated with them gone, but I suspect that's just me.
They had an outdoor showing of "The Kite Runner" last night. It was good, but the subtitles were hard to read because they were the same color as the background most of the time. The book was better, but I enjoyed myself. Outdoor movies are nice, it felt very summer-y.
I can't wait for this upcoming weekend. This week in general should be pretty fun. Tuesday is GREAT day, so we don't have any classes. I'm going to stay up late on Monday and watch the meteor shower, then we're all going on a picnic on Tuesday. We'll have our fun practice, and then it will be Alumni, with whatever craziness that entails. I'm relieved I'm not drinking, it'll minimize the possibilities for badness. I don't want drama, I just want it to be fun.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
It's Coming! Its' Coming! It's AHHHH!
We have our last tournament this weekend in Cortland. This is my last week of rugby practice for my freshman year. On the one hand, I'm excited because I'm that much closer to the summer. On the other hand, I'm that much closer to exams. On the other hand, I was getting sick of rugby people (mostly rugby boys). On the other hand, I'm not ready for them to graduate and drop off the face of the earth. (I'm channeling Tevye, I like his mulling style.) I like our seniors. There are a few exceptions, but the good ones more than make up for the bad. I didn't really think of what the end of the year would mean, I sort of assumed college was like Purgatory, it just keeps going until you work off yours sins and get to be an adult and have an apartment and babies. That isn't to say it isn't, there's just a change in the cast from time to time.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Oh Weekends
I can't get the music from Les Miserables out of my head. This is serious. It's a vicious cycle, the songs get stuck in my head and so I play them, and then they're fresh in my mind. I've listened to "Do You Hear the People Sing?" at least twenty times this past week.
It's been a pretty eventful weekend. I had the (very beat) boy's rugby date party on Friday, and I saw two plays yesterday. The party was awkward and boring, but the plays were very good. I saw Forever Plaid in the morning, and then The Pillowman later in the evening. Forever Plaid was so good that I was sincerely tempted to see it again, there was another performance starting right after The Pillowman ended, and it's NARD's (a comedy/a capella group that I'm a big fan of) last show before they graduate. I probably should have gone, but I didn't want to go by myself, and I had to do laundry. Three plays in one day is too much anyway. Anyway, if I had really wanted to go I would have gone alone. I'm getting better about doing things on my own. I even went to brunch by myself today, which is a big deal. I normally wouldn't even think about sitting alone in the dining hall, it's embarrassing, but I brought a book, and it wasn't a big deal after all. Plus, there were biscuits, so it was totally worth it.
I think I'll go to the gym. I don't have anything to do, and I feel like I'm less active now that I have practice everyday. I don't know why, I work out two hours a day instead of one, but that's just how I feel.
I wish I had someone to live with next year.
It's been a pretty eventful weekend. I had the (very beat) boy's rugby date party on Friday, and I saw two plays yesterday. The party was awkward and boring, but the plays were very good. I saw Forever Plaid in the morning, and then The Pillowman later in the evening. Forever Plaid was so good that I was sincerely tempted to see it again, there was another performance starting right after The Pillowman ended, and it's NARD's (a comedy/a capella group that I'm a big fan of) last show before they graduate. I probably should have gone, but I didn't want to go by myself, and I had to do laundry. Three plays in one day is too much anyway. Anyway, if I had really wanted to go I would have gone alone. I'm getting better about doing things on my own. I even went to brunch by myself today, which is a big deal. I normally wouldn't even think about sitting alone in the dining hall, it's embarrassing, but I brought a book, and it wasn't a big deal after all. Plus, there were biscuits, so it was totally worth it.
I think I'll go to the gym. I don't have anything to do, and I feel like I'm less active now that I have practice everyday. I don't know why, I work out two hours a day instead of one, but that's just how I feel.
I wish I had someone to live with next year.
Monday, April 7, 2008
I Feel Like Mr. Poe
It seems like I've had a cough all semester, I'm shocked Vicky hasn't killed me for keeping her up at night with my disgusting hacking. I'm not even getting good abs from all this, it's very annoying.
We had our first rugby tournament this past weekend. It was tremendous fun, and we even won a game. We lost two out of three, but at this point scoring a try is a huge victory for us. I also got my traditional, first rugby game of spring sunburn. I'm practically purple, and it hurts a lot. So now I'm Miss Sunscreen, I even put it on before going to class.
This week is going to be a big unfun, but I'm getting sort of sick of this semester, so every week is sort of a drag. I just want it to be summer already.
I'm going to the rugby boys' date party with Clarence this weekend. Probably. I've been invited to the date party four times now, and I've never gone before, so I'm not positive it'll ever pan out. I want to go, I bet we'd have a good time. At the same time, it might be a relief to not go and not have to see...people.
We had our first rugby tournament this past weekend. It was tremendous fun, and we even won a game. We lost two out of three, but at this point scoring a try is a huge victory for us. I also got my traditional, first rugby game of spring sunburn. I'm practically purple, and it hurts a lot. So now I'm Miss Sunscreen, I even put it on before going to class.
This week is going to be a big unfun, but I'm getting sort of sick of this semester, so every week is sort of a drag. I just want it to be summer already.
I'm going to the rugby boys' date party with Clarence this weekend. Probably. I've been invited to the date party four times now, and I've never gone before, so I'm not positive it'll ever pan out. I want to go, I bet we'd have a good time. At the same time, it might be a relief to not go and not have to see...people.
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