Tuesday, January 22, 2008
First Day of Class
Today should've been great. All the elements for greatness were there, I love my classes, I joined a club, applied for a job, made alternative spring break plans, but I'm sad. I'm sad about Heath Ledger, I liked him a whole lot. I liked the idea of him and Michelle Williams and their baby living in Brooklyn. I loved "10 Things I Hate About You" and "Brokeback Mountain". I'm sad he's dead. It isn't just that though. I'm applying to Vassar with very little support from my friends, and I don't expect to get in. I still want to go there though, so I'm really giving it my best shot. Today though, we were talking about housing next year, and I asked what they would do if I transferred. If we got a townhouse and I left they'd lose it and be stuck in corridor style, resenting me. They told me, not unkindly, but plainly, that if I though I was going to leave then I shouldn't go into this with them. Honestly, if I get into Vassar I'll probably go, but I don't want to withdraw from housing plans because I MIGHT not be here next year. What if I don't get in? I know it isn't fair to expect my friends to risk their housing, but if I don't get in and I didn't throw my lot in with them then what will I do? I'll be rejected and living with a stranger. All in all, I'm anxious, which is a sad end for what could've been a really happy day.