Monday, December 1, 2008

Ice Knights

I am on a mission. I am going to go to the men's ice hockey game this Friday night, and I'm not going to go by myself. It doesn't sound that ambitious, but it is. How sad is that? It isn't like the prom or anything, and I just want a friend to go, I'm not looking for a date, but it's entirely possible that I'll fail. I 've already asked someone and been turned down. I'm refusing to take it personally though. She's legitimately busy. I know finals are coming, but I don't think two hours will make or break anyone. I'm pulling out the big guns on this one, I might even ask people that I'm only friendly acquaintances with, that I don't consider friends. I only have so many people that I consider friends, I'll run out fast. It's character building.
I remembered to say "rabbit rabbit" this morning, AND Smith got my college official's report. These are signs. Plus, Brad actually checked his facebook and is willing to be a reference for my SCA internship application. Things are going well. I'm going to be cautiously optimistic about the hockey game.
We had our first Sunday of Advent mass last night. It was freezing raining so the choir leader couldn't make it, and most of the choir wasn't there anyway. I went despite the weather because I was sure we were going to sing "O Come O Come Emmanuel" and we totally did. The church was practically empty though, so I felt very self-conscious because I'm not a very good singer and it's a kinda tricky song. The Marine walked in during the opening hymn because he's suddenly the churchgoing type, and I got all embarrassed. Not for any good reason, just because. It's a small-ish school, I need to be able to function around people that make me feel awkward because there's really no avoiding them. Awkwardness aside, it was an interesting mass, I think I'll appreciate the choir all the more this week.
I was really excited about my Advent calendar last year. I was still living with Laura, and things were going really well. Danielle is a nice roommate, and I talk to her more than I've ever talked to a roommate, but I miss living with Laura sometimes. I don't watch "Law and Order" anymore. I tried, but I don't like it anymore. But back to the calendar. I remember telling Chelsea that I was so excited to open the doors, I wanted the days to go faster. This year I'm much more laidback about it, which is weird because it's a chocolate calendar.
I wish I could go back and visit last year. It occurred to me as I was walking to dinner that my sort of friend Paige probably eats dinner by herself every night because she lives by herself. I never ate by myself last year, or if I did I don't remember doing it. I don't mind a lot of the time, but it's weird to think about what I lost, and how long it's reasonable to stay angry.


Andrea said...

It sounds like you are doing well in your search for balance. Advent is good for that.

Why don't you call Paige for dinner?

Caroline said...

cuz i'd have to pay for her, she doesn't have a meal plan