Time

College is the first time in my life that I wish there were more hours in the day. The solution is probably sleeping less, but I don't know if that's going to work, less sleep means I have less energy, which makes it a lateral step in the long run. Monday and Wednesday I have class from 9:30-11:30, and then I volunteer at Holcomb until 12:20, and have class again at 3:30. Rugby starts for real after spring break, so that'll be Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, Friday 5-7, with tournaments taking up all of most Saturdays. Tuesday/Thursday I have class from 9:55-11:10, and then again at 2:10-3:30. Friday I'm done with everything, classes and volunteering, by 12:30. I was hoping to start volunteering at Teresa House this semester, but they aren't getting back to me. I'll have to look into that after break, but that'll be another four hours a week that's accounted for. I usually go to the gym for an hour in the afternoon, but that will change when I have almost everyday practices. I wish I had a car and knew how to drive. That would really open up job opportunities, which are pretty limited on campus. I saw a job milking cows, that might be fun, but I couldn't get there. I don't even have my bike here. I really really don't want to work in the dining hall, even being in there for the time it takes you to eat results in the CAS food smell lingering in your clothes and hair for ages. I don't even know if I'm hire-able, I don't have experience, and it's midway through the semester. So I don't have time, and I probably couldn't get a job even if I did. Perfect.
I just wanted to make it clear that I'm not sitting on my hands out here. I really am busy, and stressed, and calling me at ten right during midterms to chew me out seems a little unfair, at least to me, in my current sleep-deprived state. Not that fairness matters or counts for anything, just as an observation. This was in my head just now, I wonder why. There was also just an episode of "Degrassi" where Marco considers whoring himself out in order to pay for his going out. I don't have that kind of expenses though, and I don't know anyone that's willing to pay. So I guess I'm spared. I feel like Rose in I Capture the Castle, you can't go on the streets in Geneseo.

The Final Sprint Before Break

Today was the worst bit, I had two papers due and a Child Development test. So really, I guess last night was the worst bit. Now I have a Stage Musicals Midterm on Wednesday, and I think I'm in the clear. But I'm not 100% certain. I should look into that. It's only a matter of time beforeI'm on the road with my friends and their snake though, so I can deal with this. Spring break is a week away, I just need to hold on a little longer.

Gray Sky Eyes

Today is the sort of day that is perfect for a long walk with your iPod, followed by a nap. It's chilly but not cold, and the air has a nice dampness that is what I imagine Ireland is like.
Clarence and I were horsing around in the basement of the library last night, half watching "Cabaret" and now I have finger print bruises on my wrist. Added on top of my rugby bruises, I look battered. He didn't mean to squeeze me that hard, he was very apologetic when I showed him the bruises. I gave as good as I got, he was tied hand to foot while I seven tortures tickled him.
I'm reading "A Thousand Splendid Suns". It's very good, but maybe not as good as "The Kite Runner". I do enjoy having something to read though, it's a nice break from my complusive journaling.
The Womens' Rugby Date Party is tomorrow night. I can't decide if I'm excited or apathetic, but I hope it's a fun time. I don't see why it shouldn't be, it's an evening of dressing up and hanging out with my friends. And Goose. So there you go. I don't want to wear a dress, I feel very self-conscious, but the dainty-ness bar is pretty low for girls rugby, so I shouldn't worry.

Application Woes

I sent in my transfer application yesterday. None of my friends are supporting me, but that's ok, I can see their points. The professor that is recommending me told me that he was offered an interview to teach there, years and years ago, but he never went because Geneseo hired him first. He said he's always felt a little wistful about it though, despite loving Geneseo. I knew he was the right professor to ask.
I can picture myself coming back next fall, I could stay here and be happy, but I'm curious. I would almost feel relieved at being rejected. It would be a Sign. Getting in would be really conflicting, because while there are things that I love about Geneseo, I'm pretty certain I'd go. The list of reasons to stay is short and cowardly, and I'd always have that same wistfulness, wondering what I missed out on. I shouldn't have told CWB about this, I felt so good about my decision until I did.

A Highly Lame Weekend

Last week was a total drag, I had a lot of midterm work, and tackling practices in the squash courts are extremely unfun. My knees, wrists and ankles are all bruised. I had high hopes for the weekend however, I thought it would be a good one, with square dancing and parties. Friday came around though, and I didn't want to go out. I was tired. I almost fell asleep at dinner I was so tired. Chelsea and I had planned on going out, but I just wasn't up to it. I went to bed at ten. A weak Friday isn't the end of the world, but I woke up sick on Saturday. It felt a lot like strep, and I fumed about Health Services being closed on the weekends, then spent the day in my pajamas, sleeping and watching online netflix. Saturday night was supposed to be a blast, starting with square dancing, then going to a 90s pop star party, and then to a frat, but that just wasn't in the cards. I got as far as the Union, (I wanted to see Max playing with the string band, but he isn't a fiddle player, so he was in the back and I couldn't see him from the door, and I didn't want to pay to go in just to see him.) but I felt too rotten to dance, so I just went back to my room. My friends all went out and had crazy drunken shenanigans, I stayed in and did laundry. I also watched "Happenstance" which was really good. I like Audrey Tautou, she reminds me of Little Aunt Grace. Saturday night isn't a great time to do laundry, all the shut-ins assume it would be, and then there aren't any free dryers. I was up pretty late folding and whatnot, and then a friend came by and needed comforting, so I ended up staying up pretty late. Goose may not be perfect, he pulls me through knots and goes home all the time for work, and I said I was giving up and not caring, and we were just going to be friends, but I can't do that, but at least he isn't as bad as Friend X's boy. After an hour of listening to her story I wanted to kill this boy, he's so horrible, and there isn't any reason for it, but I also wanted to call Goose and thank him for not being a creep and tell him he can leave me twisting all he wants, he's still better than this other guy, and I'm lucky to have whatever lame not-anything thing we have. At least I'm not being tortured. My situation is frustrating, but not actively painful.
I wanted to go to the Genesee Abbey today with Outing Club, but I missed practice, and one of the captains was going and I didn't want a lecture about how if I'm too sick for rugby then I'm too sick for outings. I don't have much work though, because I had so many tests last week, so I don't know what I'm going to do with myself. I guess I'll work on my Geneseo Honors essay, but that hardly seems like a fun conclusion to a weekend.

A Rugby Musical

I have to come up with an idea for an original musical for a class, and I've decided to have it be about rugby. I'm thinking the story should follow a rookie class in their first season, focusing on like, three players for the sake of not being totally confusing. I'm having it be about men's rugby, and I'm pretty excited. I don't need to put together a whole show, just come up with a story and a couple of scenes. So far I've decided to have a practice scene with lineouts and passing balls around looking all synchronized and sweet, and like, having rookies mess up and have to run laps (there's a slight hazing theme). I also want a game scene with a dramatic injury, and to include the Haka, and to have a scene with men's and women's rugby partying together. I'm going to try to use at least a couple of real rugby songs in the musical, I'm thinking "Alouette" for the party, and maybe "Jesus Can't Play Rugby" if I can work it in. I can't write songs, but if this was going to be a real musical I'd want a song about getting your nickname, something like "You Gotta Get a Gimmick" from "Gypsy". I'm basing some characters on real rugby boys (Big Tree totally gets a part, and Chase, as the heart-of-gold, bull dog-y, naked guy), and despite Clarence's worries that I'm going to tarnish their image or make them seem haze-alish and bad, it's going to send a pro-rugby message. I love the boys ruggers, I don't know what he's worried about.

"Juno"

My friends and I went to a party Friday night and it was pretty beat, so we decided not to go out last night. Instead, we went to the new Applebees and then to the movies. I couldn't remember ever going to Applebees before, but it wasn't the dining hall, so that was great. It's decently cheap, and you get a ton of food, but the service is terrible (no one in Geneseo has any experience working in restaurants because there aren't any). After dinner we went to see "Juno" which I still hadn't seen. I really expected to like it, but...I didn't dislike it, but it was sad. It was also funny, I laughed out loud a couple of times, but it sort of brought me down. And made me want a baby. Child Development also makes me want a baby, so I feel like it's coming at me from all sides.
This upcoming week is going to suck, but next weekend is going to be amazing. I'm square dancing and snowboarding. It should be pretty sweet.
I don't think things are going to work out with Goose. We can still be friends, and he said he'd go to the girls rugby formal with me, but I want more than he's offering. Which isn't to say he's being mean or unfair, we just seem to want different things. I'm ok with being just friends, I'm super comfortable with him, it could be a Big Tree-esque sort of situation.