Many A New Day

"Why should a woman who is healthy and strong,
Blubber like a baby if her man goes away?"

I don't like liking Goose as much as I do, it's really frustrating. The Marine was always at my beck and call, I could see him whenever I wanted. I don't see Goose even close to as much as I want to, and I really miss him. My friends are all sick of hearing about it, but I want to talk about him all the time. I want to be around him all the time. One of my biggest reasons for looking forward to practice starting is that then I'll see him more often. I really really wanted to go to the boys' rugby date party with him. I hate that I can't, even if he thinks I'm nice for not going. I don't think he's asking anyone else, he told me he went stag last semester. That's a relief, but I want to go. I'd much rather be his date then have him be mine at the girls' team date party. I want to see him more than once a week. He says we need to find a balance, but this current system is making me feel totally off balance. I'm mentally dog whining I want to see him so much. I know how lame this all is, but I can't help it. I'm doing my best to get a grip.

Taking A Chance

I have a habit of keeping guys at an arms length emotionally. I don't know why I do it, but I do. This time though, I'm letting my guard down. I like someone, I'm fairly confident that he likes me, and I'm letting him in. I'm self-disclosing about how dorky I am, I told him about my various histories with his teammates, I'm trusting him to like me despite these things, and he seems to. It's exciting in a scary way, letting him in like this means I'll be that much more disappointed if it doesn't work out, but he's worth it. Maybe that's the key, I've finally found someone I like enough to assume the risk. It feels different, I don't want beads, I don't want to share details with my friends, I just want to see where this goes.

Valentines Day

I've come to the conclusion that you don't need a boyfriend on Valentines Day. I'm celebrating with the early Beatles. Please Please Me is as good as dark chocolate, and I like the young, idealistic love that they sang about. It feels very valentine-y.

I am the Cat's Pajamas

and it is FREAKING ME OUT.

Grapenuts

One time last summer in New Hampshire we were all sitting around at Camp Dodge, waiting for dinner. We couldn't cook our meal until the camp people had eaten, and we were all starving. All we had to eat was a box of grapenuts, and we were surrounded by people eating...I don't remember what the protein was, but they had corn on the cob and strawberry shortcake, and we were jealous. Passing around the box of cereal, Brailey suggested that we try to look sad, so that someone would see and offer us some of their food. It didn't work, we crunched away until it was our turn, but it was a funny idea. We had food, it wasn't like we were poor little match girls, but at the time it seemed wrong that people would see us eating plain, dry, grapenuts and not offer some of their extra. Mum took me to Wegmans yesterday before dropping me at school, and I bought a box of grapenuts. The box weighs about thirty pounds, so I'm set for life, but it's something I had been wanting. It isn't a delicious sort of cereal, but I like it. It confirms my status as an outdoorsy person. Whether I'll eat grapenuts and not chex mix remains to be seen, but it's a nice idea. It looks good too, to people coming into my room. They'll see the giant box and go "Wow, clearly this girl is outdoorsy and has strong teeth."

I need a pet hedgehog

I really really want a pet at school, Grace, and Nicole and Dana have snakes, Chelsea has a fish, I need a hedgehog. Vicky said I could get a pet, I really think a hedgehog is the way to go. What are some good names? I'm thinking Juniper, like the Russian short film "Hedgehog in the Fog".

I Feel Like Mr. Luxury

I had a great weekend, but square dancing and indoor rugby practice turned out to be too much for my feet, and I now have a really attractive black toe. Seriously, I look like I've been exploring the Arctic, and it's extremely painful. Was it worth it? Yes, but I'll be mighty sad if the nail falls off, especially with Winterfest (an outdoor rugby tournament) this weekend. The boys' team isn't going, their captain is too ashamed that they didn't stay fit over the break, but our last season beat any sense of shame out of the girls' team, so we get to play.
Alternative Spring Break may not be in the cards, the people wouldn't take our money on Friday, and now there are only five spots left and the leader won't return my calls. I'm pretty annoyed, but if it doesn't work out we'll all just go camping. Nicole's dad is an outdoor buff, and he said he could loan us gear. It sounds fun, but I'm still pulling for Kentucky. Those five spots are still fair game.